How to Help Small Children Stop Biting: A Practical Guide
Biting is one of the most frustrating and challenging behaviors for parents and caregivers to navigate. If you're dealing with a biting toddler, you’re not alone! Many young children go through a biting phase, and while it can be upsetting, it's a normal part of early childhood development. The good news? With patience, consistency, and the right approach, you can help a child move past this phase.
Why Do Young Children Bite?
Before we address how to stop biting, it’s essential to understand why children bite in the first place. Some common reasons include:
Teething – When little ones are cutting new teeth, biting helps relieve discomfort.
Exploration – Young children use their mouths to explore the world around them.
Frustration or Overwhelm – Limited language skills can make it hard for toddlers to express big emotions, leading to biting as an impulsive response.
Seeking Attention – If a child learns that biting results in a big reaction, they may repeat the behavior.
Imitating Others – Children often mimic what they see; if they observe other kids biting, they may try it themselves.
Sensory Needs – Some children have sensory processing needs and may bite for oral stimulation or self-regulation.
Difficulty Sharing – Learning to take turns can be tough for toddlers, and some resort to biting when they feel something is being taken away.
Feeling Overwhelmed in Social Situations – Some children struggle with transitions or large group settings and may bite as a way to cope.
How to Respond When a Child Bites
When a child bites, it’s crucial to respond calmly but firmly. Here’s how to handle it in the moment:
Stay Calm – Reacting with anger or a big emotional response can reinforce the behavior.
Pull the Child and their Victim to the side - Correction and behavior management does not need to happen with an audience.
Comfort the Victim First – Show empathy by tending to the child who was bitten before addressing the biter. Use phrases such as, “That hurt when Joey bit you, are you ok?” “Did you like it when Joey bit you? No? Ok, look at Joey and say, ‘Joey, I don’t like it when you bite me, please don’t do it again.” This shows that the attention goes to the victim and it also gives the victim a voice. Teaching them to stand up for themselves and speak their mind. It is also powerful for the child who bit because it gives them feedback from the victim.
Address the Child Clearly – In a firm but gentle tone, say, "Biting hurts. We do not bite."
Redirect and Teach – Help the child learn a better way to communicate their needs. For example, teach them to say, "I need space" or use a sign for “stop.” Helping young children to develop language skills helps to alleviate their need for physical communication.
A counter to this is also teaching kiddos to respect and respond to the communication of their friends. “Did you hear Molly say ‘please stop’ or ‘I don’t like that’? When you hear a friend say that you have to stop. Let’s practice right now. Molly, say it again. Ok, when you hear that what do you do? You stop.”
Encourage Gentle Hands and Words – Reinforce appropriate behaviors by praising gentle interactions: "Great job using your words to ask for a turn!"
Give the Biting Child a Moment to Calm Down – If needed, remove them from the situation and allow them to reset before rejoining play. A great idea for this is to have calm down boxes with sensory toys in them. You can use any container you have on hand. I like to include things like this liquid motion bubbler and then a few toys from a kit like this one. I keep a space set aside for calming down. I include comfy places to sit and rest and have the calm down boxes in that area. You could also provide noise canceling ear muffs so they can tune out some noise.
Preventing Biting Before It Happens
Prevention is key to reducing biting incidents. Here are some proactive strategies:
Help Children Express Their Needs – Teach toddlers simple words or signs to express frustration, like "help" or "stop." Supplement this by teaching the other kids to recognize these and role play what it looks like to respond to a friend making this sign. Practicing social situations really helps.
Watch for Triggers – Notice patterns. Does biting happen when the child is tired, hungry, or overstimulated? Address those needs early.
Provide Teething Alternatives – If the child is teething, offer a cold teether or a crunchy snack instead.
Model Gentle Behavior – Show kids how to interact kindly and express emotions in a healthy way.
Use Positive Reinforcement – Praise and encourage good behavior: "I love how you used your words!"
Ensure a Predictable Routine – Toddlers thrive on structure. A predictable schedule can help reduce frustration and unwanted behaviors. Using a visual Schedule can help them navigate through the day and know what to expect. Also give warnings for transitions such as 5 minutes and 1 minute.
Role-Playing with Dolls or Puppets – Act out common social situations with toys and demonstrate how to respond kindly instead of biting.
Encourage Physical Outlets for Energy – Some kids bite when they have excess energy. Ensure they get plenty of outdoor playtime and gross motor activities.
Give them Something They can Bite - If it is a sensory seeking behavior or an emotional management behavior giving them something they can bite on can be helpful. I like to have a variety of silicon toys for this. Some examples are these P shaped biting toys with a variety of shapes and textures or a necklace they can keep with them. I must say here to consider the age and development of the child. A necklace is not appropriate for all ages. The child should be observed while wearing to prevent the possibility for a choking accident, and it should not be worn during sleep. If you have questions about if it is appropriate for the child’s age and development consult their pediatrician or suggest that the parent do so.
Have a Plan in Place - Having a plan in place ahead of time of how you will respond will help you take the emotions out of it and keep you from reacting.
Communication - Make sure to speak with all caregivers of the child and share your plan with them so that the behavior is being addressed the same by all caregivers. If they get a consistent message from all people in their lives they will learn faster.
What NOT to Do When a Child Bites
Don’t Label the Child as a ‘Biter’ – This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and hurt their self-esteem. We want to avoid any label type words when working with small children. These can become a part of their internal sound track and shape how they see themselves and the world around them.
Don’t Ignore the Behavior – Address biting every time so the child understands it’s not acceptable.
Don’t Use Harsh Punishments – We always want to structure and design our reactions to be helpful, constructive, and educational. Make sure that your response fits those goals. Use the above tips as a guide for how to handle it.
Avoid Overreacting – While it’s important to correct biting, making a huge deal out of it can sometimes reinforce the behavior by giving it too much attention.
When Should You Be Concerned?
Most children outgrow biting with consistent guidance. However, if a child continues biting frequently past age 3, bites with excessive aggression, or seems to bite out of extreme anger or frustration, consider consulting a pediatrician or early childhood behavioral specialist for additional support. Persistent biting could indicate challenges with sensory processing, communication delays, or emotional regulation difficulties that might benefit from professional guidance.
Extra Tips for Daycare Providers and Parents
Teach and Reinforce Social Skills Daily – The more practice toddlers get with turn-taking and sharing, the less likely they are to resort to biting.
Create a Calm Environment – An overstimulated or chaotic space can lead to more biting incidents. Try adjusting lighting, noise levels, or playgroup sizes.
Use Visual Cues – Some children benefit from picture cards that remind them to use gentle hands and words.
Be Patient and Stay Encouraging – Learning new behaviors takes time. Acknowledge small improvements along the way!
Final Thoughts: Patience and Consistency Are Key
Biting is a phase, not a permanent behavior. By responding calmly, teaching better communication skills, and setting clear expectations, you can help young children develop healthier ways to express themselves. Remember, every child learns at their own pace, and with love and consistency, this too shall pass!
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